Assisted Living Should Not Be a Cause of Guilt When Convincing an Aging Loved One to Move

Everything changes. Given enough time, people experience changes to almost every aspect of their life, possibly even their relationships. A child’s relationship with their mother or father — or both — will change as they grow up, become adults, build a career or raise their own family. 

For adult children supporting aging parents through the difficult processes of elderly life, health issues, and even injuries or mental diseases like Alzheimer’s, those changes can produce guilt. Some of the guilt may involve not doing enough, feeling like you don’t have enough time to support them, not living close enough to make a difference during those Golden Years. 

That all well might happen, but when you have successfully convinced your elderly mother or father or some other loved one to consider and move into assisted living, guilt should not accommodate that decision. 

Assisted living is one of the best elder care options available. 

Hands down, there is simply no other elder care option quite like assisted living. Unfortunately, many seniors and other Americans confuse assisted living with other forms of elder care. 

Assisted living is basically all about supporting an aging person through their life, but encouraging them to live a high quality of life, given their circumstances. 

If you convinced your elderly mother, father, or even your spouse or best friend to move into assisted living and they did, but now you feel guilty because they call and say they’re lonely, homesick, are confused, don’t have any friends, don’t know what to do, or regret the decision, hang in there for a while longer. 

The first days and weeks can be difficult. 

Moving is one of the greatest stressors in life, even if you are completely excited about the prospect. The longer an elderly person has lived in the same house, the same town, getting along with the same people for years, possibly even decades, the more difficult it’s going to be to transition to assisted living (or any new living environment for that matter). 

Be there to listen. If they call and are crying, just listen. Let them talk. Let them cry. Let them get angry, if that’s what it takes. Avoid the temptation to call them repeatedly throughout the day because you feel guilty about this decision. That is only going to embolden them to hang around the room waiting for your call rather than getting out and exploring all that the community has to offer. 

Speak to an administrator. 

If you have concerns that your elderly loved one is not settling in as you had hoped, speak to somebody at the assisted living community. Let them know your concerns. Staff are very good at checking in on seniors and new residents. 

They may start a conversation, ask questions, and find activities your loved one would be excited about. In time, most seniors realize the value assisted living offers. So, don’t let guilt lead you to making the wrong decision, but realize that when it comes to elder care, assisted living is the best.